Daughter Claims Dad is Cheating and Tells Mom

The idea of one parent cheating on the other is not one most kids want to have to endure. What would make it worse is if you knew and the cheated parent didn’t know. What would be even worse is to get it wrong. We’re not sure about this one …

AITA for Accusing My Dad Of Cheating and Telling My Mom?

Last Friday night I (23F) was out early with a few friends at a bar on a table in a popular street for bars and cafes in my home town. 

Many of the tables are on the street (like the bar I was at), so you get to see everyone who's walking past, crossing the street etc. It's a busy street particularly at 6pm with suits, students and shoppers all converging and mingling. 

Then I saw my Dad (46M)

He was crossing the road with a (very young) woman and holding her hand, as they sort of dodged traffic, before they went into a bar on the corner about 200 yards from me.

That has to get alarm bells ringing. Why would her Dad hold hands with a young woman crossing the road?

WTF? Even as conversation went back and forth on my table with my friends I was barely listening as I kept my eye on the door of the bar on the corner. I was furious. 

Probably about 10 minutes or so later, I saw him emerge and take up a table on the street with this young woman and saw both of them served large glasses of wine (my Dad doesn't even like wine). 

I sent Mom a text telling her what time I'd be home (for dinner) and to ask if Dad had remembered to do the printing (he prints stuff on his computer at work for me). 

She replied that Dad was working late at work, she was sure he'd remember (he always does) and she's see us both home soon.

Was Dad lying? The OP thinks he is and lets her Mom know. This is when things get interesting.

It was then that I decided that Mom had to know what was going on. 

"If Dad is supposed to be working late, why can I see him now with some young floozy across the road from me? You need to ask him." 

After a bit of back and forth, where Mom tried to downplay it or accuse me of making it up or being mistaken, we finished the conversation. 

I then watched as my Dad picked up his phone , looked at it, pressed a button and then stood up. Mom had called him.

But OP isn’t happy yet and decides to go nuclear.

I then sent Dad a text telling him that I saw him, what I thought of him (not much) and that I had told Mom. I told him where I was and waved to him. 

He didn't wave back.I saw him immediately settle the check, pick himself up and leave. The woman he was with left separately.

But then you have to face the consequences of your texts. Are you sure your Dad is cheating? What were you trying to achieve? What did you expect?

When I got home I got the cold treatment from my siblings and my father just shook his head at me. 

When I was able to speak to my mother later that night alone she said that she was embarrassed. She had spoken to Dad and she said that the woman who I claimed was having an affair with Dad was just a business associate, they were entirely professional and that I was an absolute AH for accusing my father of cheating. 

She said that her and Dad had had a big row and had both concluded that I was an AH. 

He was holding her hand FFS!" I tried to argue, but Mom wouldn't budge. 

If Mom can't see this for what it is, that's her problem I guess, but surely I'm not the AH for trying to let her know, am I?

Readers clearly didn’t like cheaters, but not all were convinced that the OP’s Dad was one.

u/iceswallowcome6969 
NAH Cheaters are the scum of the earth and should be treated as such. Just make sure your Dad actually is scum first before the accusation.

u/townofmadik26 
ESH Can spot a cheater from a mile. You were probably right but not the way to go about it.

u/calamityjane999  FFS YTA Everyone knows older men are going to look around for younger flesh and flirt occasionally but they're not all going to act on it. I'd say most don't. To jump to that conclusion is an AH move. 

What would you do in this situation?