Wife Divorces Husband Over Cheating from 25 Years Before
Is there a statute of limitations on cheating? Is it different before and after marriage? How prepared would you be if you found this out about your husband?
u/Chint AITA for Wanting to Divorce My Husband When I Found Out He Had Slept Around? My husband and I have been married for 27 years and have two grown up daughters aged 23 and 25. We hooked up at high school and have been together ever since. In our early twenties, my husband went to college interstate and we maintained a long-distance relationship for three or so years before he moved back home and we moved in together. When he was at College I used to visit him from time to time and he introduced me to a few of his friends, but he hadn't had much contact with them since College. That was, until last week.
Catching up with friends from when you were in your twenties can be fun, but some things that happen in your twenties need to stay there.
Two of my husband's old College friends were in town and a catch-up dinner had been arranged of which I was invited (the other College friends were with their respective partners, one of which was also a College friend). Conversation naturally turned to reminiscing about their College days, and particularly the antics at various parties, including the use of alcohol and drugs.
But it wasn’t the alcohol and drugs stories that bothered the OP but rather a brief turn in the conversation between them that was both ‘disgusting and disturbing.’ According to the OP they talked about him sleeping with lots of women, and the conversation went something like this:
A: You broke a lot of hearts (referring to my husband) B: and hymens ... A: I don't think there were too many hymens for [husband] left to break by third year
The OP was shocked. Perhaps the others didn’t know he had a girlfriend when he was in College (i.e., the OP), but it’s insensitive, at the least.
They had all been drinking and I think they forgot I was there. I felt like I had been punched in the guts, I excused myself and then went and vomited in the restaurant's bathroom. The College wife came to see if I was OK and in a brief conversation I asked her if my husband had been sleeping around in College and I could see realisation dawning on her. "Were you guys together then? I always thought he was single in College. I think you better have a chat with him tonight."
And then the proverbial hit the fan.
We didn't speak in the Uber , but I lashed out him when we got home. "How many women did you sleep with at College while we were dating, and I was saving myself for you? ". He eventually admitted to 'about 5 or 6' but by his sheepish and defensive tone, and the way his friends had talked, I guessed it would have been more like 20 or 30. He told me it was a long time ago, he was young, I was a long way away, he need to sow his oats, we weren't married etc I told him to F off and that he was sleeping on the couch. The next morning, I packed a bag and went to my sister's house in tears. I can't stand the sight of my husband anymore and I have now started the process of applying for divorce. My husband is livid, calling me hysterical and unreasonable and I have now blocked him. My sister thinks I should forgive him. I think he has just thrown our marriage away.
One reader thought that divorce was over the top after 27 years.
u/randomthoughts87 It's a long time ago and if you've been happy otherwise in your marriage and you know he hasn't cheated ever outside of that period, why not forgive him? Divorces are messy and expensive.
However, most were adamant that he had to go.
u/secretgarden999 Kick his cheating a** out. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You could never ever trust him again.
u/wotaboutme 5 or 6? I bet it was a lot lot more than that, maybe even 50 or 60 over three years. So while he was out 'sowing his oats' you were being a good girl for him back home. What a lovely fellah. Not!
Is she an AH for divorcing him?
