Lesbian Relationship With Best Man’s Sister Ends Wedding

I think most people nowadays in western culture anyway, would not necessarily expect their fiancé’s relationship with you to be their first or them your first. You might not want to know all the sordid details, but a little about your future spouses history doesn’t go astray.

In this story, a 32 yo man Alex posts about a discovery he only found out about at the eleventh hour before marrying Lisa (30F). Wedding plans were shattered as the revelation left him devastated, questioning the very foundation of their relationship. Prepare for an emotional rollercoaster!

u/Chewit
AITA for Cancelling My Wedding Because My Fiancée is a Lesbian? 

I'm Alex (32M), and recently, I made a decision that has left me questioning if I'm the one in the wrong. 

I've been in a relationship with my fiancée, Lisa (30F), for three years. We were about to get married, and the wedding planning was in full swing. We had invited friends and family, booked the venue, and spent countless hours preparing for the big day. I had my long time family friend Jack as my best man. All of Jack's family was invited too as our families had always been close.

However, a week before the wedding, Jack told me he had to tell me something. This type of conversation always gets me nervous, but this was out of left field.

He told me that Lisa he had had a secret lesbian relationship with his sister Wendy for six months or so before I started dating her. Jack never told me this earlier, he said, firstly, it was none of his business, but also because Wendy wanted to keep it secret. She wasn't ready to come out to her parents at the time.

But I still found the news devastating. Wendy was even invited to the wedding! Lisa had kept this secret from me for years. What other secrets did she have?  The more I thought about it, the more I realised I couldn't go through with the wedding knowing now what had happened.

His best man’s sister?

Alex confronted Lisa about the betrayal, learning of her past with his friend’s sister.

Remorseful and begging for forgiveness, Lisa insisted on her innocence, leaving Alex with a moral dilemma. His religious beliefs clashed with the shocking revelation, intensifying the emotional turmoil. Brace yourself for a clash of values and heart-wrenching decisions!

I confronted Lisa.  She expressed remorse about not telling me earlier and begged for forgiveness. But she insisted that she had never cheated, but admitted her mistake was not telling me that she was bi-sexual. She didn't think I needed to know that she had had a relationship with Wendy, as Wendy was my friend's sister and her privacy was important.

I'm grappling with a moral dilemma, especially as my religion does not approve of homosexuality. In any case, I'm left wondering what else has she kept hidden from me? How many other women has she slept with? Will she want to leave me for a woman later on? 

In a bold move, Alex cancelled the wedding, citing Lisa’s dishonesty.

Friends and family were left in shock, accusing him of overreacting and ruining the celebration. The fallout raises questions about trust, values, and whether he should have allowed Lisa to make amends.

I decided to cancel the wedding, citing Lisa's betrayal. 

Many of our friends and family were shocked and disappointed; some even accused me of overreacting and ruining the celebration. I'm left wondering if I did the right thing by cancelling the wedding or if I should have given her a chance to make amends and move forward as planned.

Some readers agreed with cancelling the wedding.

u/deepfaker24 
You did the right thing by canceling the wedding. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and the fact that Lisa kept such a significant secret raises serious concerns.

It's not just about her bisexuality but the lack of transparency. Your decision may be painful now, but it shows strength and self-respect. Moving forward with doubts about her honesty could have led to more significant issues later. Focus on healing and ensuring future relationships are built on trust and open communication.

While others thought he bwas going a bit too far. It all depends on what Lisa’s real feelings are and if she is hiding something more or not.

u/warnerfirst77 
I understand why you canceled the wedding, as trust is crucial. However, maybe consider if Lisa's remorse and explanation were genuine. People make mistakes, and she might have feared judgment or rejection. 

If her bisexuality doesn't bother you and you genuinely believe in her commitment, perhaps giving her a chance to make amends could be an option. It's a tough situation, but communication and understanding can sometimes salvage relationships. 

Reflect on your feelings and what matters most to you before making a final decision.

u/chambersmoke99 
Canceling the wedding was a hasty decision. While discovering a secret can be painful, it's crucial to differentiate between a genuine mistake and intentional betrayal. Lisa admitted her error and showed remorse, emphasizing that she never cheated. 

Consider counseling to address your concerns about her bisexuality and explore whether trust can be rebuilt. People are complex, and relationships require forgiveness and understanding. Reflect on your feelings, talk openly with Lisa, and decide if the foundation of your relationship is strong enough to weather this storm before making any irreversible decisions.