The Wedding Surprise Controversy: Woman’s Act of Kindness Misfires

If you had the means to help your cousin and his fiance out by helping pay for his (future) in-laws to attend their wedding, you’d normally think you were acting on the side of the angels.

But in this story, the OP was soon to find her act of kindness badly misfired.

AITA for My Act of Kindness?
I'm Sarah (30F), and I recently made a decision that has left everyone in my family at odds. 

Here's what went down: My cousin Mark (28M) and his fiancée Lisa (27F) have been planning their dream destination wedding for over a year. They chose an exotic location requiring guests to purchase expensive airline tickets. Lisa's family isn't very well-off, and they've been struggling to afford these flights.

As the wedding approached, it became clear that Lisa's family might be unable to attend due to the financial burden. Mark was heartbroken, and Lisa was in tears at the thought of her family missing her big day. 

So the OP took it upon herself to help.

That's when I decided to step in. I purchased two airline tickets for Lisa's parents. 

It costs many thousands of dollars but I could afford it.  I earn a six figure income, I'm single, I own my own home with a small mortgage and Mark and I have always been close. 

I was  thinking I could alleviate their financial stress and ensure they could support the couple on their special day. I didn't consult Mark or Lisa before doing this because I wanted it to be a surprise and thought I was helping.

But the OP was surprised by the reaction.

However, when I revealed the surprise, it didn't go over as smoothly as I'd hoped. Although they initially appeared grateful they soon became upset. They felt that I overstepped my boundaries by deciding significantly about their wedding without consulting them.

Mark argued that they knew Lisa's family's financial situation and had accepted it as a possibility. He said I had embarrassed both him and Lisa, making them appear as 'tight a**' because they weren't the ones to pay. He felt that I should have respected their autonomy in making decisions about their wedding, even if it meant some family members couldn't attend. He said there were other costs for their accommodation etc that would need to be met, and other family members were going to ask why they weren't being subsidised too. 

Lisa was equally upset and felt that my good intentions had caused more harm than good. She believed I should have discussed it with them first and allowed them to decide how to handle the situation. They now see my act as an intrusion into their wedding planning and a breach of trust.

So now, the OP is naturally wondering if she did the right thing.

AITA for buying those airline tickets without consulting Mark and Lisa? Was my intention to help misguided, or did I overstep my boundaries by taking matters into my own hands?

What would you do if you were caught in a family feud caused by an attempt to assist in a difficult situation?

u/ThoughtfulReviewer76
 YTA - While your intentions were good, you should have consulted the couple first.

u/PerspectiveGuru55 
NTA it sounds like they either didn't want the parents there, or are just embarrassed about how much more generous you are, than them.