Dad Wins Big But Son Loses Out

Ever wondered how many people who win a car, actually keep it in the end? I mean, many, if not most, people who win a car probably already own one. So wouldn’t you just take the cash? It’s not really an issue unless you have a 17yo son who was eyeing up the prize you just won …

For background, I recently won a brand new Chevrolet Silverado in a lucky draw. You might think that's excellent news. Well, it isn't straightforward. Our family already owns 2 cars (my wife and I each have good cars), and though we're not poor, I like to be careful with our budget and plan for the future. 

So, instead of keeping this third car, I decided to sell it and to put the money towards my children's college fund. 

My wife and I have 2 children, Jake (17M) and Ruby (13F).The issue arises with Jake. He just got his driver's license, and like any teenager, he's thrilled about the prospect of driving. 

When he found out about the car I won, his eyes lit up like it was Christmas. He naturally assumed that I'd hand over the keys to him. We already have two cars, and what's a third to a family like ours?

But the OP had other ideas.

But here's my point of view: I believe in teaching my son the value of hard work and earning his luxuries. I told Jake he would not get the car, as I had sold it to invest in his future. 

I said that he would be able to afford such a car when he had completed his college degree and was earning his own money. 

He was devastated. He accused me of being selfish and not understanding his needs especially as he claims he's never going to College anyway and the money would end being spent on his  "smart ass" sister.

The OP’s wife isn’t so sure. She has a point when she claims they could have bought a cheaper car for him and put the balance in the college fund, doesn’t she?

My wife, Sarah (42F), is torn. She understands my perspective but also feels sorry for Jake. She thinks we should have discussed the possibility of keeping the car for him or at least buying him a cheaper one.

Now, I'm not an unfeeling parent. I love my son and want the best for him. I'm not sure if he'll ever go to College, but in any case, I want him to understand the value of money and hard work. 

I also don't think he appreciates the sacrifices we are making to ensure there is sufficient money available for him and his sister should they choose to go to College. 

I see this as an essential life lesson. Jake, however, sees this as a betrayal and has been sulking ever since.

So, am I the asshole here for not giving my son the $40,000 car? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

One Redditor praised the OP for his good parenting

u/willywonka45 
NTA. Kids need to earn their privileges.  You've done extremely well as a parent in this instance by investing in the future him and not just the 'now'. Cars are big money holes too. Who was going to pay for gas and maintenance? Handing him a luxury car, where you funded all the expenses  would set unrealistic expectations for the future. 

Others were more circumspect

u/dangerousliaison987 NAH I can totally understand why your son would be upset, especially if he thinks all the college money is going to his sister. But you're wife is right. Why not buy him a cheaper car and put the balance away?

What do you think?